Day 17

Hello Dear Ones,

This is a big week for Tom. He must must must start producing white blood cells, the key sign that the transplant is working. He must also make them feel at-home in his body, so that they don't attack him. We place our confidence in the love and synergy that Tom and Steve have been professing to each other since the transplant occurred. I'm personally eagerly awaiting hearing that number go up. It had jumped up to .2 last week, briefly, but then fell back to .1 and then 0. It has been back up to .1 for several days. Waiting each day for Tom's blood count I am reminded of how distraught Tom and I were when Gabriel was born such a skinny little bird who didn't catch on to nursing right away and didn't begin to gain weight quickly. Tom and I would stay up nights just trying to get him to eat and our favorite day of the week was the day of my breastfeeding support group, where they would weigh him with an accurate scale. Tom would wait eagerly for me to call with that number and we would relish in every new ounce. Well, the tables have turned and Gabriel and I are eagerly awaiting each rise in Tom's count and we expect to have a similar experience, filled with steady climbing.

In the meantime Tom has been eating well, feeling well and looking well. Just as I expected he has a great shaped head and looks quite handsome with no hair. Tom has also gained 10 lbs since entering the hospital-much of it is suspected to be fluid retention - due to his cornucopia of i.v. fluids, from antibiotics, to nutrition to anti-rejection drugs. He likes to claim that he's getting chubby. So far, he's the only one who's willing to go that far.

He's also enjoyed a good number of visitors from family, to clients and friends from all aspects of his life. He welcomes visitors and has remarkably avoided developing infections or other illnesses-so exposure has remained gratefully under control . At this point he only asks a few minute heads up and recommends a visit after 10 AM, when he feels he can stay awake. And I'd like to ask that if you have the opportunity to take a picture of your visit (particularly if I'm not there camera-ready) that you do and forward the photo to me. Among his many visitors was our weekly bible study group. Tom and I have studied with this group for about 10 years and Tom was so happy to see them all last Tuesday. Tomorrow they plan to visit again and, this time, have the study in Tom's hospital room. This effort has seemed to me to be such an example of the interpersonal community-oriented nature of the early church. We have always felt that John and Laurie (Barnts) have lead us through a unique and enlightening study and the spiritual, emotional and practical support we have received from the group during this time is such a vivid example of its strength.

In other supportive news a steady stream of blood donation continues, to Tom's great pride. Each time someone contributes in Tom's name Tom feels like a superstar patient: contributing to his own care and sometimes to that of others. If you are able to donate, and have time, please stop by and visit Tom when you donate. Tom is keeping each "Donor Designated" card that comes with the blood and platelets and hopes to track each one back to the donor, so save the number they give you when you donate.

Gabriel and I are still working to find a nice groove, sometimes hampered by whining, frustration and pouting . . . and Gabriel gets pretty upset too. We don't have as much time to relax and enjoy each other as we'd like, but I try to make time when we can and he is enjoying his many play dates. I am really looking forward to Tom experiencing first hand the developmental strides that Gabriel has made in the recent weeks. Each day I'm more amazed that in the midst of all this that Gabriel is flourishing in the areas of reading, making up and answering addition and subtraction problems in his head, artwork and Spanish. Today I particularly noticed how he's beginning to read more fluidly and adding common inflections. As a lover of books I can't tell you how excited I am for him that he's opening the door to a whole world of imagination and fascinating information. He has read some to Tom over the web cam, but I think it will be an even more rewarding experience for Tom when he's able to hold Gabriel on his lap and enjoy a book.

Gabriel was also excited that Aunt Lisa came to stay with us this weekend. My sister came to help me with some of the bigger cleaning projects on which I haven't been able to get a handle. It was so nice to have her here and a huge relief to get the house ready for Tom's return. I also thoroughly enjoyed taking the web cam around the house to show Tom the results and hearing him say, "Wow, it's like a whole new house." I liked even more hearing him say he's going to help with the upkeep when he returns. I liked it because I like the sound of him coming home, and besides, I could use the help. ;-)

I've also appreciated all of the help those of you have offered by signing up on the Team Tom calendar. This is a key week, so I'm going to ask that if you have any time this week (particularly from approximately 8:00 - 11:00 on Wednesday or Thursday night) to please sign up on the calendar. This is the best time for me to visit Tom after getting to spend most of all of Gabriel's waking evening with him. (www.my.calendars.net/teamtom; login: teamtom; password: support).

Expecting that Tom will be producing blood like gangbusters by Friday, Gabriel and I will visit Santa Maria this weekend to celebrate Babies Kiana and Lily DuBransky's first birthdays, and the expectation of Baby Boy DuBransky #4 awaited by Jeff and Diane. It'll be a quick trip, but Gabriel has been looking forward to it for weeks.

Considering how successful all your prayers have been so far we dare ask that you continue, especially through this critical week. I, too, pray for Tom. I also am so grateful that I can't help but pray that every family and every individual struggling through these difficult times would have the kind of wonderful community that we have on which to rest their heads and their hearts. Love, The Highland Park DuBranskys

Day 8

Hello All,

Well, Tom's 8/100's done with this transplant business and is looking great! His nausea is decreasing. He's not excited about food, but he can eat. He's also being administered intravenous nutrition now. Throughout this week Tom has felt better and enjoyed visits from friends and family. Each day the doctor notes, surpisingly, how well Tom looks. The doctor also shared that Steve gave Tom an abundance of stem cells. He wasn't specific about the number and how it compares to the average donation, but it was definitely on the high end. Here they are on the big day last week:

By the end of this week the doctor's expect to see Tom's white blood count raise from the .1 that it's been since the transplant. We're eagerly looking forward to hearing that news around Friday, give or take.

Today Gabriel got to see Tom at the hospital. Last week, after declaring that he WOULD wear the mask and gloves we prepared for a visit by asking for a doctor's order for him to come up and by practicing wearing the mask and gloves at home. Gabriel lasted about 20 minutes before he'd had it with the mask, but did very well while he was there.

Today the ominous hair loss symptom took hold. Tom faced it head on (pun intended) by asking Tim to come and shave his head:

This week was also our first chance to call upon the help of the many of you who have signed up to make it possible for me to visit Tom by hanging out with Gabriel. The calendar and all you signees have been a great relief to me and I thank everyone who signed up over the last two weeks. I don't know what I would do without this support.

Thank you all for being the community holding Tom, Gabriel and me up. We really feel it. Much love, The Highland Park DuBranskys

Day 1

Hello Loved Ones,

So, Tom's a new man. He finished filling up with Steve Marrow at about 10:00 PM last night - 3 bags of it. It's pretty anti-climactic on Tom's end - as the transplant procedure is akin to a blood transfusion, of which Tom has had many. However, for Steve it's another story. Being a life-saver is painful. Steve was a champ, had a smooth harvest and is now resting through the achey recovery. Steve and Katie were able to come up and visit Tom after Steve was released. Tom was so happy to see his brother, friend and hero. The DuBransky boys love each other and there was never any question that any of the boys would do this for any of the other boys, but all the same, Tom is moved and overwhelmed with gratitude, as am I and as is Gabriel (well, being four, he mostly thinks it's really neat).

Tom's heart rate has been watched closely since the transplant began, as it has been too low (about 45 instead of his usual 70 - 75). The Laker game raised it temporarily, but not consistently. He temporarily had some chest pressure, but they gave him something to help with that, which was probably due to the thickness of the stem cells, which were placed directly into his heart for distribution throughout the body. Next steps include keeping infections at bay and managing the graft vs. host disease inherent in this process (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Graft-versus-host_disease). Though, Steve and Tom deny that there will be anything other than a peaceful compromise met within Tom's bones!!

It was great to see Tom with some energy and some smiles yesterday. He had suffered with nausea and vomiting since Tuesday night and felt that all he could do to avoid it on Wednesday and Thursday was sleep. He was overwhelmed with feeling sick and exhausted. On Thursday, after almost two days of this Tom received a call from Joe Adams, who was a leader in our youth group in high school and a man of great love, affection and encouragement to us throughout our young and young adult lives. Joe prayed for Tom over the phone and Tom found this so meaningful that he laid his head in my lap and cried (for all the dudes reading this, I was not only authorized, but encouraged by Tom to tell this story). Tom is so grateful for all the prayers and appreciates the opportunity to hear the prayer himself (even if he has that comical moment of "curse that guy for making me cry"). In the end, I think this was a great relief to Tom to be able to let out his frustration and fatigue this way.

In an uncanny related event, Thursday night I was sitting on my bed getting Gabriel ready for sleep and reading to him, when, as is customary, we were about to move onto cuddle - the last step before bed time. You're going to have to trust me when I say what occurred next has never occurred before. Gabriel said, "Mommy I want to lay between your legs and cuddle" and he preceded to lay down and lay his head in my lap exactly as Tom had done earlier that day and squeezed chemo duck to his side. I've always known that Tom and Gabriel have a very special connection and a whole lot of physical and personal "alikeness," but this was such a stark picture of it to me. I didn't even realize until the next day when I was at the hospital telling Tom about Gabriel's day. Tom asked how I was doing and how Gabriel was doing and I tried to think of things that he had done that were just different to try to assess how he's doing. I realized that this need to be comforted in this special way was new and then realized: it's new for both of them.

Not only have we considered that this challenge has strengthened our faith and our understanding of the heart of God, but it has allowed all three of us to find new aspects of one another and to see, in ways that we haven't before, how tight these bonds are between us.

With love and great hope, The Highland Park DuBranskys

Day -2

Hello from Che Hope,

Tom is slowly seeking sustenance (no time is a bad time for alliteration) from a bowl of oatmeal and a banana. He just showered, so between these two morning rites of passage I think he's perking up and he looks great. Tom had just received his last drop of chemo last night when it all finally caught up with him. He developed a fever that just a bit ago broke and, at about 12: 15, got sick five times in rapid fire succession along with which came some dizziness and disorientation. Up until then he had only brief encounters with symptoms: chills, fever, stomache ache, headache and chest pain (probably bone pain from the marrow loss) were all addressed swiftly and effectively. Tom was really pleased with his relative lack of symptoms until last night. To top it off he hasn't been able to sleep the last few nights due to lots of trips to the bathroom and constant taking of his vitals. Getting sick has been a little discouraging, he really hoped/thought it wouldn't happen. But, he now has empty bones and 0.1 units/ml (usually 140.00/ml) of white blood cells.

He also receives a number of visits, in addition to his ever present nurses and Patient Care Assistants. Each day Doctor Chen visits to check on Tom and to make any adjustments to Tom's medications, tests, etc. He is also visited by his Social Worker, Recreation staff, his Physical Therapist, his Occupational Therapist, his Nutritionist, his Transplant coordinator and various Lab technicians (blood draws, chest x-rays). Tom will not leave his room until his white blood cell count goes up, so even the chest x-ray is done in his room. They are taking good care of Tom.

Tom hasn't felt he needed much. He asked for a t.v. guide-life without DVR is so challenging =o), and a couple of personal care items that are less harsh.

Yesterday Tom also received his first designated donor platelets. Tom feels really good about all his blood and platelet donations, as he hopes not to use any of the hospitals general donations and would like to leave the hospital with a surplus from his donations. Thanks, all!

Gabriel is doing well. He and I talk a lot about being a team - a team that takes care of Daddy by being cooperative with each other, talking about how much we miss him and looking forward to him coming home. He took Chemo Duck and his calendar to school yesterday for show-and-tell and talked to his classmates about his daddy's trip to the hospital for a bone marrow transplant. Each night he crosses off one of the days on his calendar. He likes doing it, even though one day the number of days still ahead were disappointing to him. Tonight we will also decorate Gabriel's March calendar page with a picture of Tom in the hospital so Gabriel can visualize how healthy and comfortable Tom looks right now. Today he starts a yoga class at Celebration Kids, which we hope will be fun and hopefully give him a few tools for coping with any stress or sadness he may feel. He's looking forward to the aspects that I told him were good preparation for gymnastics, which he will start in the Fall and to which he is so looking forward: balance, flexibility and strength. Everyone at Celebration Kids, from the teachers and directors to the parents have been so supportive of all of us. We are very blessed that he goes to preschool at a place that really is a second home for him and a support network for us.

Finally, the calendar is working very well! It's been a great comfort to check out the calendar and know that no matter what happens with Tom there'd be a way for me to be with him. Thank you, all. Because things are going relatively smoothly right now and because I took this week off of work I haven't called in any of you reserves yet, but I'm sure I will.

Thank you! Much love, The Highland Park DuBranskys

Day -5

The doctor's refer to Tom's transplant schedule as minus days leading up to the transplant (which is day 0) and then plus days up to 100 when Tom essentially emerges from the thick woods into the more open woods.

Day -6 was yesterday. The first chemo drug Cytoxan was administered last night uneventfully.

The second chemo drug ATG was administered today at 10:30 AM and has been essentially uneventful. One case of the chills drew about five staff members and was resolved very quickly. Within 15 minutes there were no more chills. This drug will be administered over 10 hours. He is continually loaded up with Benadryl to prevent reactions and has been sleeping a lot (with a few breaks for food [still a good appetite] and Lakers). Nurse Melanie says he is doing exceptionally well. She said there's usually at least a drop in blood pressure, but Tom's is perfect.

The webcam has been great. Tom chatted with Tammy in Indiana and Mom & Dave (his new lookalike since he shaved his whole face) in Santa Maria. He even "had breakfast" with Gabriel and me this morning and "kept an eye on" Gabriel while I took a shower. If you have a webcam you can see Tom in the hospital using the magic of Skype (which is free). His Skype login is tom.dubransky.

Finally, our friend, Erin, created this very cool interactive calendar for those who'd like to volunteer to help out the Highland Park DuBranskys while Tom is in the hospital over the next 1 1/2 to 2 months. Right now I've listed all the time slots that I could use the knowledge that someone could, if needed, help out with Gabriel so I can be at the hospital with Tom, taking care of things Tom (or Gabriel) may need or going to the gym. The website is: http://www.my.calendars.net/teamtom (there will always be a link to the calendar in the "Tom's Health" section in the left hand column of the blog). The instructions are in the header of the website. You will need to login "teamtom" and put in the password "support." No need to volunteer far in advance, if you know you have time in the next few days just login. It'll be nice to know I have coverage, if needed, a few days out.

Thanks-we really are blessed to have such a loving community of friends and family!!

Love, The Highland Park DuBranskys